My Journey as a Working Mother: From One Mamma to Another

They say a mother is born when her child is born. Motherhood can be a journey of varied emotions – love, protection, anxiety, frustration and guilt. With more mothers balancing work at home as well as in society, the dynamics of motherhood as well as parenting are changing tremendously.

So, we approached a wonderfully compassionate, working Mamma of a four year old to share with us the joys and learnings of her parenting journey.

Hi Dhivyaa, tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi, I am Dhivyaa Naveen Kumar, a working mother. I moved to Basel, Switzerland in 2012 soon after my marriage and my husband and I have a 3.5 year old daughter named Mila.

Can you share your birthing experience with us?

I actually had a very trying birthing experience; it was not very pleasant. During pregnancy, I had hyperemesis gravidarum which is a case of excessive nausea and vomiting. This lasted my entire first trimester and I couldn’t keep even water down. This led to excessive weight loss and I was on infusions during this period. Eventually, things got better in the second trimester. I went to work until the end of 36 weeks gestation and went on maternity break when my doctor advised me to do so.

During labour, after almost 24 hours, just as I was pushing, my daughter got stuck. Although the doctors tried hard for a normal birth, they had to eventually go for an emergency cesarean section. This led to a lot of physical and emotional pain before, during and after my daughter’s birth.

How soon after Mila did you get back to work?

We had only 12 weeks of paid maternity leave in Switzerland. As a new mother, this naturally increased my anxiety and I had symptoms of postpartum depression; thankfully I was not on any medication. The only medicine for me was my child. I kept admiring her smile and holding her against my skin. Skin-skin contact with the baby is helpful not just for the baby but for the mother as well.

What steps did you take to prepare yourself and your baby before getting back to work full-time?

Mila was completely on breast milk until about 14-15 weeks. She already fell into a routine and would feed every 3-4 hours. Around the 15th week, I began pumping milk and feeding from the bottle. She thankfully took to the bottle immediately although I was worried that she would refuse. After the 15th week, I started pumping milk for two feeds at home and gradually, I increased this to three feeds. I used to pump and store the excess milk in the fridge. I wanted to give her milk as fresh as possible and so would pump and store in the fridge only for a day. The most important tip I can give a working mother who wants to breastfeed her baby is to never change the timing for pumping milk. Once you fix a time and routine and stick to it, even during weekends, the flow is consistent. Although, this might get stressful, it is better than not having consistent flow.

Eventually, I asked my husband and my mother or mother-in-law to begin feeding Mila from the bottle. Just a week before I went back to work, we began transitioning her to this routine.

What steps did you and your husband take to help Mila adapt to a new environment and caregivers? And, what steps did you take to emotionally support yourself from being away from her?

This was the most challenging phase for us. My daughter was with my mother and mother-in-law soon after I went back to work, which was when she was around 19 weeks. So, she was still with family members at home. But once they left at around 32 weeks, we had to send her to a daycare. I was able to trust my family even though I had to go back to work but it was not easy for me to leave her in a completely new environment with many other babies. I could not imagine how she would sleep peacefully or eat well and this used to worry me a lot. Thankfully, we found a place that is literally a 2 minute walk from home. The daycare centre had a transition phase where I could spend a couple of days with Mila. We could also observe how they took care of the other babies. This gave me a lot of confidence and I began to have trust that she was in safe hands. Mila did cry a lot initially after the big separation from home and I used to cry on my way to work, but gradually, she settled down with all the fun activities she could do at school like singing, painting, outdoor walks and was happy to go.

Pumping milk at work is not an easy experience both physically and emotionally. How did you deal with this and what kind of support did you receive?

I made it a point to pump milk regularly at work at the fixed time and thankfully, I had the support to do so. Although, initially, I used to miss my daughter and our skin-skin bonding, I used to watch her videos and pictures while pumping at work. We both fell into a routine; Mila used to drink milk around 8 times a day. Three meals were from a bottle with expressed milk and the other meals were directly from me at home. I would feed her from my breast at 7 am, then leave for work at 7.30 am. I pumped consistently at 10am, 1pm and 4pm. I used to store the pumped milk in the fridge at my workplace for her next day meal.

For interested parents, I used the Medela swing maxi double electric breast pump which worked like a charm. And for storing milk, the lid on the bottles came with labels to mark the date and time. They also came with a tray which helped me organise them by time and date in the fridge.

Did Mila find it difficult to transition between breast and bottle everyday? How did you address challenges around this?

Right from the first day, luckily, Mila never had difficulty transitioning between bottle and my breast. I did notice that she used to wake up a lot more in the nights and feed directly from me. Gradually, as I started weaning her, she used to feed from my breast only in the nights. I started replacing every ‘expressed-milk’ meal with solid foods. By the 7th month, I stopped pumping milk at work. However, until she turned three, she used to wake up in the nights to feed from me. I attributed this to her longing for skin-skin contact and bonding with me and enjoyed it.

How did you manage to strike some kind of balance between healing after a cesarean section, being available for Mila and also working both at home and outside?

I have to thank several people for this. My husband is my biggest support and shares all the household chores with me. There is no task in the house that is done only by me. I also have to thank my work environment as I never had to bring back any work home. In the initial months, my mother-in-law and mother helped me a lot. I definitely have to thank Mila’s caretakers at her daycare who gave me the trust and confidence.

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We made this work by always waking up and going to bed on time. We tried and planned ahead. For example, it would take me only 5 minutes to come up with a meal plan, but this saves time and energy instead of worrying what to cook and what to shop everyday. I also learnt to listen to my body and never pushed myself beyond a certain limit. When I knew I couldn’t handle something, I learnt to ask for help and look for alternative solutions. On those days when the routine becomes mundane, we helped each other or just went out as a family to break the repetition. I also helped my body and mind heal by engaging in activities like swimming and running, watching movies once in a while and taking breaks to relax when needed. All of this helped me rejuvenate and get better.

Many working mothers go through a lot of emotional turmoil for not being with their baby the whole day. Did you also experience this? 

Yes, of course I did. Hundreds of thoughts ran in head. “Did I dress her appropriately for the weather?, “Will she eat?”, “Will she be happy?”, etc. I used to chat quickly with her guides at drop off and pickup. I started noting down what she ate, how long she slept and how she was. In the mornings, I used to update the guides at daycare on how her morning was so far, which helped them plan better and I used to ask them the same at pickup. I had an open and honest relationship with the guides at daycare which helped me communicate my needs clearly with them.  At home, my husband participated in all household chores and has been my biggest support. It was he who took care of Mila during most of her sick days. Only because it is a 50-50 partnership, we have been able to keep the family going smoothly. 

From your experience, what kind of support do you think working mothers require from family and society?

I strongly believe that fathers play an equal role in raising a child. We did not have a baby-sitter. We just used to take turns in being with Mila and did our best to balance it all out. Our society must understand that fathers are important figures in children’ lives and willingly offer emotional and physical support to mothers and fathers who work both at home and outside. Of course, every family has their own style and there really is no right or wrong way in parenting. We need to figure out between each other and go from there.

We all do what is best for our children. It is important for us as mothers, as women, to be strong, positive and have faith in what we are doing. Everybody likes to advise us but I have learnt to take what makes sense to me. 

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Can you please share a word of support and love to other mothers in similar situations?  

Dear Mammas,

Please speak out when you think something is not correct and ask for help when you cannot do something. There is no shame in asking for help!

Don’t blame yourself and think that it is always ‘you’ who is responsible for your child. Many of us hold onto our children tightly; we must learn to let go and find trustworthy people to engage with and interact with our children. Being with different people will help our children socialize better and grow.

Take some time for yourselves. Be grateful when people around you respect your feelings and, again, speak out when you need something. You get only when you ask for something. Lastly, stay positive and pat yourself on the back once in a while for doing the best that you can!

Choosing Snacks Wisely : From One Mamma to Another

A snack can be a bag of chips, a fruit or a bowl of nuts. With more of us finding it hard to manage cooking our major meals, we have delegated the snack department to supermarkets which sport rows and rows of heavily processed snacks that are high in salt, sugar, unhealthy oils and other, far more complex ingredients, that have no business being in the food we eat! Since most of us don’t even realise the snacks we eat, it is time we pay attention to those silent fillers.

Let’s hear more about snacks and how we can choose snacks for our children from a Mamma of an adorable three-year old from Chennai.

Hi Hamsika, tell us about yourself and your family.

Hi, I am Hamsika, a working mother. I live in Chennai, India with my husband Lalith , our 3-year-old daughter Naabhya and my parents-in-law.

What are Naabhya’s meals like? Tell us a little about how you plan and prepare these meals.

Naabhya has a very regular meal pattern. I don’t prepare anything specifically for her. She eats the menu of the day at home.

Breakfast – A glass of porridge and a banana – I should mention here that the porridge powder is made from multi grains such as black urad dal, moong dal, roasted gram, wheat, sago, peanuts, almonds and cashews. When Naabhya turned two, I started adding millets such as fox tail, horse gram and pearl millet. This is prepared with milk and jaggery and is a wholesome breakfast.

Mid-Morning Snack at School – I usually pack biscuits or fruits, boiled vegetables and nuts.

Lunch – Rice with ghee and vegetable with an option of Rasam or Dal or Spinach and definitely a cup of curd.  

Evening Snack – Banana chips or Peanuts or Puffed rice or Papad with a glass of seasonal fruit juice or tender coconut. I would like to mention that in our family, we use gingelly oil for our regular cooking and prefer either groundnut oil or refined oil for fried snacks.

Dinner – I usually give her options – Roti, Dosa, Pasta or Poha and give her what she asks for. I also offer her a glass of milk before bed.

When I was a kid my grandma used to give me lunch before I rushed to school. She wouldn’t mind compromising on the last spoon of food, but not on the  ghee and curd which I believe are important to making the meal wholesome. So, I hold on to this for Naabhya. One specific thing that I have followed since she was a baby is I don’t give her white sugar. Instead, I replace with jaggery or palm sugar.

How do you define snacks and how big a role do they play in Naabhya’s daily life?

Snack for me is a simple quick  food, very easy to prepare and less messy to eat. Snacking helped me bring in the “eating by herself” habit with Naabhya. I usually choose something dry and easy to pick, so she can have it by herself. She has two parts for snacks in a day, her mid morning snack which is at school and thankfully, they have a set pattern. The evening snack is where she eats what she likes and it is between her juice and dinner.

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What kind of snacks do you offer Naabhya?

I usually buy biscuits made from a local bakery, carrot cake or banana walnut cake, homemade fries (வடகம் in Tamil, पापड़ in Hindi) masala peanuts, puffed rice, roasted gram(chickpeas gram) banana chips, peanut & jaggery chikki, rusk, popcorn or nuts.

Tell us about the snacks you definitely stay clear of and WHY?

I would say no to any snack that is vacuum sealed like chips, fries that have a lot of salt and oil and anything with artificial colour and sugar like gems, jelly etc. I also say no to aerated drinks and flavoured, colourful drinks and prefer fresh juice or tender coconut to it.

I am completely open to store-bought snacks as long as they are freshly made and have a very short shelf life.

Everywhere around us, we find heavily processed snacks that are high in corn fructose syrup, sodium and oil. How do you choose snacks from all these options? 

Snacking can be healthy if we make a little effort. My husband snacks more than me but ever since Naabhya has started eating, we both choose snacks with a lot more care. Children learn a lot from us! We always make sure to have a couple of options of what she likes (that are also healthier) at home. It is very easy to buy something off the shelf but takes a little more effort and planning to make something simple at home.

As parents, how do you create awareness in Naabhya on snacks and how to choose wisely?

We simply don’t introduce them to her in the first place. We took it as a task not to buy the heavily processed snacks, so now she knows the real taste and doesn’t like the salty or sugary stuff. There are mothers who tell me, “Oh!! Sad you are not giving her anything” but trust me she wouldn’t say no to cup of ghee dripping badam halwa from her grandmother or  freshly made murukku (twisted gram flour crisps that are popular in South India) from a local store.

A request to share with us three simple and healthy snacks that you make at home?

Puffed rice : You get plain puffed rice in the store and I just roast it in a heated pan and add salt and chilli powder to taste. You can also add a garlic pod for flavour.

Roasted Gram Laddus : You can dry roast one cup roasted gram, grind it along with one cup of jaggery in the mixer. Then, transfer the mixture to a tray and add ghee and make small laddus. They can be stored in an airtight container. This laddu works very well when Naabhya has a cold since it helps remove phlegm.

Raw banana chips : Just heat oil in a pan and fry the sliced raw banana and add salt and spice.

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Can you share a note to other Mammas on the importance of choosing healthy snacks and some tips on how  to make it possible in their busy schedules?

Snacks can actually play an important role in managing kids hunger. Always give a small quantity so that the snack does not become their meal. I find that the young kids derive great satisfaction in finishing their bowl of snack. I have also observed that avoiding artificial flavours and preservatives have a lot of impact on their behaviour. A snack can be as simple as a roasted papad from the tava and does not have to be anything fancy.

I also generally follow the traditional method when it come to food because it is already tested by our ancestors.

Play with the Natural Environment : From One Mamma to Another

Today, we live in a society where children and adults are increasingly cut off from and deprived of time with nature. How can we expand our understanding of outdoor play and understand the importance of children playing with nature?

We have a Montessori Mamma of an 18 month old from Bangalore, India sharing how children can explore the outdoors and develop a sense of belonging with the natural world.

Hi Karuna, tell us about yourself and your family.

Thank you for having me on Srishti. I am from Hyderabad, India and currently settled in Bangalore with my husband and our daughter, Urvi. My mother was a Montessori guide and that inspired me to become a certified Montessori teacher. Being aware of the Montessori philosophy, my husband and I chose to adopt it at home. It is a way of life and has empowered us as parents in so many ways. 

Can you describe Urvi’s home environment with some details about different parts of her home such as the living room, bedroom, bath, kitchen and dining?

Living Room : At the foyer, we have a child-sized chair set up for her to be able to sit down, put on or take off her socks and shoes. We keep two pairs of shoes tucked under the chair and the socks come from her wardrobe. Adjacent to the living room, we have an entertainment room with a few age-appropriate activities and an indoor slide set up for her. 

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Bedroom : Although we co-sleep, ever since she was mobile, we moved her onto a floor bed to facilitate independence. We have a small area set up with books and 2-3 activities for her to choose from while she is getting ready to tuck in for the night. We also have a changing station that includes a child-sized chair, a laundry basket, dustbin and a table with all the necessary supplies for her to access. At the dressing area, she has access to her comb, tissues to wipe herself, bindis and a few  hair bands if she wishes to wear one. 

Bathroom : Our bathroom setup is still a work-in-progress. At the moment, we are in the toilet learning phase and the door is always open for her to access. We have a floor potty chair, if she chooses to sit on it. As she has been showing interest in the water closet, we have a training seat on it as well. We are yet to set up a stool for her to be able to wash her hands independently. Meanwhile. we help her up at the wash basin to wash her hands. We’ve also kept a small towel for her to dry her hands once she is done. 

Kitchen & Dining : We converted an old step-stool into a kitchen helper in order to facilitate independence in the kitchen. Few of her utensils such as plates, glasses and spoons and snacks are arranged in an IKEA play kitchen. We also have a few cleaning utensils like a dustpan, brush, mop cloth and mopping stick handy for her to use when there is a spill. 

At mealtime, she has a choice between eating at her child-sized table and chair or at our table. She sits on the high chair or bar stool when she is at the table. 

Tell us a little about Urvi’s daily routine.

On a typical day, Urvi’s day starts between 6 and 7 am. Changing her diaper, offering to sit on the toilet and brushing her teeth are the three things that we try to be consistent with. If she resists, we come back when she is ready. 

Mornings are usually rushed, but she is involved in meal preparation, if it is simple (like idly or rice roti). She spends time with her father either reading books, listening to music, putting away laundry or going outside. Between 8 and 9 am, she has her breakfast followed by a bath. 

Between 10am and 12 pm, we do a sensory activity, listen to music or if the weather permits, we explore our outdoors and have a snack in-between. By 1pm she has her lunch. Usually, she takes a nap for an hour or two between 2 and 4 pm. Post 4pm, we run errands, do household chores, visit a park or do an activity at home like art, food preparation or dance. By 7pm, she has her dinner and bath around 8.30pm. Before going to bed, we spend sometime reading or singing a few songs. 

What constitutes Urvi’s outdoor environment?

We live in an ancestral house and are fortunate to have a back and front yard. The front yard has a few potted plants and a lawn. The backyard is mostly concrete floor with a patch of lawn. 

What are some ways in which Urvi explores the outdoors?

At present, she is drawn to movement, especially climbing, and loves climbing anything she can. An example being, the gate or stairs or a ramp. She enjoys following ants, butterflies and snails. At one point, she loved plucking leaves and flowers but now she prefers putting them in her mouth. Outdoor time has been an opportunity for trial and errors. Just the other day when we were outside, she put her thermic sense to use and started standing at different areas to check the heat. Our outdoor environment has been a wonderful source of repetition and concentration. 

What kind of outdoor activities do you set up for Urvi? How do you change them according to her needs and interests?

In the front yard, we have two buckets of different colours, a wheelbarrow and a watering can. One bucket is used to fill water for watering plants and the other bucket is for collecting dried or fallen leaves. The collected leaves are used for our fir trees as compost.

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In the backyard, we have rice flour for doing rangoli, bubble solution, primary coloured clothes pegs which she uses while drying clothes. We also use the pegs as an open-ended toy to form different shapes. We have some coloured chalk to go wild on the floor and refine her fine motor skills, a bowl and brush to paint with water on the floor and also a small scooter to scuttle around. 

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Our small patch of lawn has a concrete boundary and Urvi uses it as a balance beam. One of her preferred activities is to climb up the ramp, drop a ball and watch it roll. If there is something she is trying to master, I try to incorporate it in the outdoors or indoors. 

We love spending time in the outdoors doing sensory and art based activities. We spend some quiet time outside as well to observe and listen to our surroundings. We do sound mapping – since she still can’t put her thoughts on paper, we track sounds by pointing in the direction of it. If we find an insect, snail or butterfly that is idle, we try to observe it in proximity. 

How do you cultivate a love for plants and caring for them in Urvi?

The way she interacts with plants has changed over time. At one point, she had this strong urge to pull, pluck and yank flowers and leaves. Although, I gave her opportunities to satisfy her need to pull, my husband and I constantly modelled gentleness and mindfulness towards everything that needs to be dealt with care. Now, at 18 months, she is slowly aware of the fact that weeds need to be plucked, flowers can be plucked for use, herbs can be cut for cooking and everything in the garden needs nurturing. 

Do you regularly give her experiences of other outdoor environments that involve fresh air, plant care and natural exploration? How do you manage to find such places in buzzing, urban cities?

Almost 3-4 times a week, we go to different children’s parks in and around our locality. At least once a week, we go to the market to buy fresh fruits, vegetables and flowers. There are days when we simply go for a stroll on the roads near our home (you will be surprised with the amount of things that catches our attention). To be honest, living in the city is quite a challenge in terms of finding age-appropriate places to explore with her, but through friends and social media, we find interesting places and events to explore at times. 

In what ways, do you think Urvi has benefitted from the outdoors?

I feel that spending time outdoors has helped her to be physically active. All the experiences outdoors, from her crawling days to walking now, has helped her to develop good balance, agility and coordination. At times, I find her in bouts of deep concentration. She seems to be aware of her surroundings and has good observation skills. Most of all, I feel it has helped her to be a calm and collected child. 

As a parent, why  do you think it is important for young children to spend considerable time outdoors, amidst nature?

Having exposed Urvi to spending time outdoors since birth, I feel that it has been the best stimulus for all the senses. The child is constantly evolving and nature has the power to constantly cater to the child’s developing needs. Being in nature is the perfect opportunity to observe the natural habitat for animals, notice changes in seasons, enjoy the cycle of plant growth. Supporting the child’s experiences and exploration through precise language nurtures their learning further. The foundation for all the sciences is rooted in nature and the best thing we can do as adults is to give them the time and expose them to different situations and places. 

Can you share a few guidelines with other parents on how to set up an outdoor environment for young children? (both apartments as well as independent houses)

For most parents, the biggest challenge is knowing what activities to offer to their children when it comes to the outdoors. Although there is no particular list to refer to, I believe irrespective of age, it’s wonderful to expose our children to gardening and composting. For a lot of us, gardening can be quite intimidating but for young children all you need is a pot, soil, seeds and water. It may grow, it may not, weeds may come, worms can come, the plant might die – it’s all an opportunity to learn.

For the ones who do not have enough outdoor space, they can consider bringing outdoor elements into the indoor space. A few easy-to-maintain and safe indoor plants for the child to take care of or a few herbs by the windowsill, a bird feeder, art, water play and open-ended loose parts (chips of wood, stones etc.) to explore can be other things to consider.

Around the World with our Little Globe Trotter : From One Mamma to Another

Travelling can be exciting for many adults – seeing new sights, trying different cuisines and experiencing new cultures! But, how does it work when you travel with young children who thrive on routine and consistency?

Let’s ask a Mamma of a chirpy 24 month old how she manages to make travelling the world memorable for the whole family.

Hi Apoorva, tell us about yourself and your family.

I’m a new mom who loves to travel and explore new places. My husband’s job requires him to travel across the globe and country. Our 2-year-old daughter, Abirami, loves going to new places, so we never miss the opportunity to pack our bags and go exploring. Traveling with an infant has never been an issue with our daughter being people-friendly and fuss free.

When was Abirami’s  first travel?

Our first travel with our daughter was our trip to our hometown from Coimbatore, where she was born. She was only 4 days old when she traveled by car for about 1.5 hours. Car travel at that age is easy with a baby seater at the back of the car. She just needed a feed or two for which we used to slow down the car. She slept peacefully through out with music in the background.

Her first flight travel was when she was 42 days old. I carried her in a topponcino which kept her warm and cozy. I have figured that the best way to keep my baby calm in the flight is to feed her during takeoff and landing. This helped avoiding ear pain or blockage that usually happens when children fly.

How many countries have you visited together in the last 24 months?

In the past 2 years we have been thrice to Singapore, Australia, Cambodia, Paris, Switzerland, Germany and the UAE. We’ve also made local trips from Chennai to Coimbatore, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Bangalore and Mangalore. We’ve traveled in all modes of transportation from airplanes, trains, ferries, gondolas to cars.

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Little Abirami of the famous “Abirami & Daddy”

Can you share with us Abirami’s diet during travel?

I make sure that our daughter’s diet doesn’t change much whether she is traveling or at home.

Breakfast:

For breakfast, she usually has a traditional South Indian meal of rice, dal, boiled vegetables and yoghurt. I carry a small electric cooker wherever I travel and purchase local fruits, vegetables and yoghurt. Sometimes, I give her a bowl of wholesome cereal with fruit purée (which any chef at any restaurant is glad to make). I also offer her some bread and cheese to add some variety to the mix.

Mid- morning/Lunch:

I follow an age-old recipe that has been passed down from my grandmother which is a serving of multigrain cereal (made with finger-millet, corn, pearl-millet, nuts and rice) mixed with water and a serving of milk. This cereal is wholesome and very filling and is also easy to prepare. I usually add a spoon of brown raw sugar to it and serve it in a bottle with a few ounces of milk.

Supper:

I make a variation of a whole grain millet porridge by changing its consistency. I make it thick and chewy and alternate it in taste by adding raw brown sugar one day and a pinch of salt and a few spoons of rasam the next day. 

Dinner:

Dinner is typically any Indian tiffin with less spice. My daughter loves to eat Idly, Dosa, Upma or Rotis. I try to serve it with a less spicy version of our side dishes. I also make it wholesome by adding carrots, beans, beets and peas to them. I typically include a portion of fruits like banana, apple, orange, pomegranate and pear before or after dinner. When we are travelling, I also try to make soups and pastas depending on the produce available locally. If not, I always have the traditional dishes to fall back on.

How do you manage air travel and jet lag which are major challenges for most parents?

The secret is to book night flights! That way when you fly out from home, it is the baby’s natural sleeping time. Try booking a bassinet seat so that both of you can rest comfortably  for a few hours. The other secret to stress free travel is to keep the baby engaged while traveling. I carry a lot of light weight books, and her favourite toy and puzzle set along. Paper and colour pencils always come handy too. I try to keep phone usage minimum but when nothing else works, I allow my daughter to play age appropriate and interactive games for not more than an hour. Once she is well rested during the travel, jet lag doesn’t pose much of a threat. My daughter is always up along with me or a few hours after. Jet lag typically hits when we are sightseeing or during the later part of the day. I try not to disturb her when it hits and allow her to sleep in the stroller or the baby carrier making sure she is fed and has clean diapers.

What’s your secret to helping her sleep on the go, in-car seats and in new places ?

The best thing you can do is to feed the baby and make sure the diapers are clean. The other best thing on the go, is the baby carrier. I use Ergobaby carrier which is ergonomically designed and comfortable for the baby. Lucky, my daughter sleeps well on a moving vehicle. Car seats and prams have always been helpful but I make sure she is not in them for more than a couple of hours.

How do you deal with health issues like fever, cold and diarrhoea?

The most important thing while traveling with a baby is not to panic when they fall sick. I keep a set of prescription medications handy. I consult and talk to my pediatrician regarding dosage and administer the medicines. To avoid cold and fever, we make sure she is properly layered while traveling by plane or to cold places. Taking an umbrella, hats and caps is a must while traveling to tropical countries. I constantly let her sip liquids like water and juices when we travel, especially during flight travel, where the body gets dehydrated easily. I try to offer fresh food and give her lots of boiled vegetables and fruits to keep stomach bugs at bay.

Can you share some  interesting travel experiences from which you learnt abundantly?

I believe that travel is the best teacher and it teaches one to be modest and shows the tiny place we occupy in this big world. It it is the best thing we give to our daughter as the experiences can never be taken away. She enjoys traveling as much as we do and loves the little things we don’t find amusing, be it a flying cockatoo or the dirty sledge and snow on top of the alps. I loved watching her get along with our friend’s son who is French. It was amazing to watch them play and converse, despite their language barrier. She even called his mom “Tina Athai” on her own!(Athai meaning Dad’s sister)

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A few tips to other mammas on navigating global travel with young children?

  • Do not stress about traveling with the baby!
  • Make a checklist of important things to carry and ensure you have them when you travel.
  • Invest in a good quality baby carrier. Believe me, it makes your life so much easier!!
  • Carry extra clothes for you and the baby and try to limit the number of diapers you carry. You can always buy your brand in other cities and countries.
  • Try to carry your own food for the baby. That way you are sure about what goes in the food you give your baby.
  • Plan your visits and sightseeing keeping in mind the baby’s schedule.
  • Keep an open mind  about germs and let your baby move around, whether in airports or airplanes. After all, that’s how they improve their immunity. 

Finally, let go of your worries and enjoy the moment. The little mischiefs and loveable smiles are all you will remember after your tiring travel!

The Wisdom of Skin-Skin: From One Mamma to Another

Skin-to-skin is a wonderful way to bond with your baby in moments, weeks and days following birth. It is reassuring for the baby to stay in the arms of the mother whom they know from life in utero. For the mother, nothing is more soothing than to hold, protect and provide for her baby. 

Lets hear more about this from a Mamma of two from Switzerland. 

Hi Uthra, tell us about yourself and your family.

I am Uthra, a stay at home mom. My husband, Adithya, and I have been married for five years and we have two beautiful daughters Kanaa (4.5 years) and Kalki (9 months).

How was your birthing experience with Kanaa different from Kalki?

My first child, Kanaa, was born in Palo Alto, California. Well before Kanaa was born I was very sure that I would want to take an epidural for the birthing. Kanaa, although, seemed to have a different plan for us. Even before I was induced with pitocin, I had begun to experience severe contractions, this was followed by a full dose of epidural. Labor lasted only for five hours and she was ready to be pushed out very soon. Given that I was on a full dose of epidural I couldn’t feel anything below my hip. It also did not help during the final moments of pushing. She popped out at the sixth hour of labor. My experience of birthing Kanaa was 100% painless.

My second child Kalki was born in Basel, Switzerland. The hospital was a four-minute walk from home. When the contractions began, my husband and I simply walked to the hospital with the suitcase and got admitted. Seven hours into the contractions, our midwife told us that we were doing so well and that I would very well be able to give birth without pain med. She reminded us that an epidural would only slow down the natural process. We decided that we would go ahead without any pain med this time and the pushing started after 10 hours of active labor. Of course there was more pain than I was already experiencing but, honestly, I realised how natural the process is, how the body automatically gains a whole lot of power and releases any amount of energy required in order to give birth. It was magical!

Both experiences were totally different but absolutely memorable.

How did they encourage bonding with your babies soon after birth? Was it different in California and Basel?

With my first-born, Kanaa, everything was new for the both of us. I had absolutely no idea what it was to feed, burp and put a baby to sleep. Only the day after my birthing, did the nurse introduce me to skin-skin. However, everything was different with my second one.The midwife made sure that I gave birth in absolute comfort. The hospital felt like home; as though I was taking a break from my routine to give birth to my child. The mothers especially, are expected to instinctively care for the child. There are no given instructions, no rules! All our questions were answered but unlike America where I was given a “feed routine” , a “how to burp and when to burp” lecture, the mothers were allowed to do what they thought was right to do. And the nurse would intervene if she thinks I could do something differently.

Representative photo of skin-skin moments after birth, not the family in the article.

Tell us about your skin-to-skin routine.

With Kanaa, after every feed I would burp her, lay her on my chest in a way that she could hear my heartbeat and nap with her. Thanks to my mother in law and mother, who were both there to help me one after the other, I had the luxury to simply feed and nap with Kanaa in the room. I would come out only to eat, and bathe. I continued this for two whole months.

With Kalki I would feed  and hold her for more than thirty minutes while she would sleep peacefully. I would then lay her beside me but very close to me and nap with her. Once I was home, my first one naturally expected me to be there for her usual morning routine etc., and it took her a little while to understand. During the night I would feed Kalki lying down on my side and let her sleep close to me feeling my warmth. 

Tell us how skin-to-skin helped you and how you think it helped your babies.

Feeling those tiny little fingers and toes and soft cheeks. Who wouldn’t like it ? And it’s every mother’s blessing to be able to have the opportunity to touch and feel their babies the most. Newborns usually feed and sleep in loop, and it would be just as easy to drop them in the crib soon after a feed, as it would be to hold them against your chest.  I love the feeling, the warmth of her against me and how I can wrap a tiny human being within my arms and watch her sleep peacefully.

The first couple of months are always stressful for the mommy. To be available at all odd hours to feed and to be able to put the baby to sleep at anytime. It is not easy. I believe that skin to skin helped lessen the stress. It gave me a lot of calm.

And the babies, who are so fragile and new, who’ve had the warmth and calm in the cocoon of the womb, look for the same kind of “wrapped” feeling in order to feel secure in the new world. No amount of swaddling will equal skin-skin. Once you have them on your skin the heat in your body is more than enough to keep them warm and comfortable during those first couple of weeks. It made a lot of difference.

Do you think bonding with the other parent is just as necessary?

Absolutely. My husband would hold them close and tight and have them sleep on his tummy or chest every time he could. He had the luxury of time with my first-born more than my second. It helps mothers a lot if the fathers also had skin-skin time with the babies as this helps the babies to get familiarised with the smell and touch of the fathers too. And when in distress, one wouldn’t have to always look for the mother, the skin-skin familiarisation with daddy could also calm the baby. 

Representative photo, not the family in the article.

Even siblings should be encouraged to do this. No matter how young they are. It’s every parent’s anxiety – whether the first-born would accept his or her sister/ brother easily. The sense of touch can do wonders. Kanaa was encouraged to hold Kalki a couple of times against her skin. She found it funny in the beginning but she slowly began to sing to her and feel Kalki’s new soft skin while singing. And she thoroughly loved it. I like to believe that this helped Kalki recognise her sister so easily. Kalki now enjoys Kanaa’s attention and waits for it everyday.

Can you share an encouraging note to every mamma out there to skin-to-skin?

Dear beautiful new mommies, the first couple of months after your newborn’s arrival are very important for you and the whole family. With a whole lot of emotions to deal with, first comes the happiness and excitement, followed by sleepless nights, stress and anxiety. There are times when one would just want to be left alone. Not having to care for a tiny human being all round the clock. But you’ll see how these babies return all your love and care multifold. They give back in numerous ways. So it is important to stop and take a second to breathe. Breathe with your baby against your skin. Give that time for them. You’ll see how much difference it could make. It really makes life calmer and easier during those first couple of months.

The Joy of Growing Up with Animals – From One Mamma to Another

Growing up around animals can be a wonderful experience for children. They learn to care, love and cherish them whilst forming a strong friendship. In our increasingly nature-disconnected lives, such friendships ground and give us a clear perspective – that all of us are joined together in this intricate web of life.

Let’s hear more about the importance and joys of having animals at home, from a Mamma of two from India.

Hi Aruna, tell us a little about yourself and your family

Hello everyone!I am Aruna and I live in Salem, India with my husband Anand, our two boys –  Adarsh who is 6 years old and Akash who is 3 years old – and our three pets.

What kind of pets do you have at home?

We have a Golden Retriever – Muthu who is almost 3 years old, a Boxer – Veera who is 2.6 years and a talking Parrot – Meenu who is the oldest at 7 years and 2 months. Muthu is a charmer. He is well-mannered, very friendly and always loves to be around the boys. Veera is the naughty one; he is very curious and likes to show off his skills. He often goes on these secret missions around the house and we know that he is up to some mischief. Meenu is very chatty. She likes everyone to know her presence and says something every ten minutes to make sure she is noticed.

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How do your children interact and play with them?

The bond between the boys and our pets is very special. When the boys were babies, I used to constantly monitor their interactions because Muthu and Veera were also very young and used to be quite enthusiastic. But, over time, I realised that the dogs can be very gentle and now Muthu and Veera have become Adarsh and Akash’s constant companions, source of strength and their biggest admirers.

What steps do you take to help your boys take responsibility for the pets?

I think it comes very naturally to them just by observing us. Both my sons, especially Adarsh can feed and bathe them, and comfort them in case the pets are unwell. Once we had some guests and a little boy kept pulling Muthu’s tail. Adarsh got very upset and took Muthu to his room and stayed there until the guests left. They are both very protective of the pets.

Is it just the house pets or do your children take to animals outside the home as well?

They are generally very compassionate to animals. It’s like they can relate to them and understand them. When we visit friends who have dogs, the bond is instant and they are curious to know what they eat, where they sleep, what they like to play with, etc. Likewise, whenever we visit our farm, they love to touch and play with the cows and goats and feed them hay and water. Once, a sparrow, who is a regular visitor in our house, hurt its leg. My husband and the boys tended to the bird and took care of it until it was ready to fly.

How do your pets express care for your children?

Well, this is always most interesting. Whenever I raise my voice against the boys, they will immediately come as saviours and stand next to them, licking their feet. If the boys are sad or sick, they never leave their side.  Meenu is usually more to herself but when the boys are unwell, she can sense something is not right and will fly into their bedroom to check on them. When someone new comes to our house, like a gardener or plumber, the dogs become all protective and will never let anyone near the boys.

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Do you believe having animals around the house is important?

I actually feel it must be natural. The human-animal bond is a very mutually beneficial and dynamic relationship. It is our responsibility to protect and care for them, because this world is theirs as much as it is ours. Peaceful cohabitation should be our ultimate goal. I strongly believe in this and so I do as much to create a sense of responsibility in both the boys. So, yes, it is important to have animals around the house.

How do you navigate having pets and children at home?

Haha! That is a good question! They can all be a handful. One good thing is they are always together, so it makes it easier for me to monitor what’s going on. Some days can be very tedious, especially if one of them falls sick. Some days are so joyful and memorable. It is hardest when we have to travel because a lot of planning needs to go into taking care of the pets while we are away. Which is why, I am so grateful we have a strong support staff in our home and my husband also helps tremendously. So, it all works out well in the end with a few bumps along the way.

Can you share some lighter moments between the boys and the pets?

There are so many wonderful moments, I think I can write a book. So, Veera loves to hide things when he is off on his secret mission. He will hide anything he finds like the TV remote, our cell phone, a comb or even shoes. Then, the whole team, including Meenu are on an expedition trying to search for this one thing. Saturdays are bathing days for the dogs. They are all out on the backyard – my boys, the dogs and my husband. My husband uses a hose pipe to clean them up and usually all of them end up getting drenched amidst so much laughter and noise. Sometimes, I fear our neighbours will complain. Oh, and the mess they make! But, the smile on their face makes it all worth it in the end.

Baby Swimming with my 10 Week Old: From One Mamma to Another

Baby swimming is a rich sensory experience that can be offered to a newborn. Water takes babies back to life in utero and helps them become aware of their body’s endless capabilities. It also aids coordination and muscle strength while working up their appetite. Baby swimming is a wonderful way for parents to just hold their little ones and bond with them!

While many of us maybe apprehensive about baby swimming, here is a Mamma from Germany who has been taking her baby swimming from the time she was 10 weeks old. Let’s hear more about this from her!

Hi Janani, tell us about yourself and your family. 

My husband and I live in Germany. Our baby girl, Agni was born in March 2018. The past 7 months have been a fun ride with her. As a couple, we love the company of nature, travelling and exploring new things. We would probably give Agni similar experiences as she grows up.

How did you find out about baby swimming?

My Hebamme (midwife) used to come home every alternate day after my delivery. She told me about it.

What made you decide to take your baby for these lessons?

I was excited as soon as I heard about it. My only question was how soon can I start? Agni was in the pool when she was 10 weeks old. Water is not such a new environment for the babies as they have been kicking and playing in the amniotic fluid for months.

Can you describe the structure of these lessons? Typically, what do you do in the water?

The lessons happen once a week for about half an hour, for 8 weeks. They begin with a song in German that helps babies get used to the new environment. The Hebamme will then slowly guide us with the exercise. The basic idea of the course is for babies to get used to water. It was an adventure pool with waterfalls, massage lounges and lazy rivers. The babies get used to water coming at them in many ways. This course was also Agni’s first social experience.

Can you share some unique exercises that they encourage your baby to do?

There are about 5-6 exercises that they teach in the first course. I shall try to explain a few.

  • The mammas hold their babies and move them from side to side, back to front while maintaining eye contact. Their hands and legs are always free to move. They will then slowly start tapping and exploring water.
  • The babies are placed on their tummies while the Mammas support them on their chest with their palms while moving very fast in the water. They will raise their heads and move their hands and feet. Agni used to smile and laugh a lot when we did this exercise. I loved it!
  • The Mammas take a bucket and pour water on their hands, feet, shoulders and body. Once they are used to this, water is poured on their heads. This will help them gain breath control.

Agni swimming 3 edit

  • The babies float on their backs while mammas hold them. Generally, babies get anxious with this exercise because they cannot see what’s underneath and it takes a while for them to understand.
  • The babies are placed on a big float on their tummy with objects in front of them. They try to reach out for objects while the mammas continue to pour water on their backs.

Note: It is important to remember that it is not safe to try these exercises without a proper instructor.

Did they take the children underwater? How was this experience?

This was only in the second half of the course when the babies were used to water falling on their heads and have some breath control. The mammas hold the babies, typically in the airplane position while the Hebamme pours water on them from legs to their head. Then, the mammas swing them 360 degrees underwater. Agni was the youngest and a bit apprehensive the first few times. So, I would take her under the shower many times. Once she got used to water falling on her head, she did it with so much ease. Now, she enjoys it!

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Do you see any noticeable changes in your baby’s movements after exposure to these lessons?

I think the lessons helped a lot with her movement and coordination of  hands. At 4.5 months, she used to move a lot on her back.

Was it always mammas in the water with the babies or did dads and grandparents take part too?

Fathers and even grandparents used to come once in a while. They would get into the water along with us.

Can you share a note to parents about baby swimming?

Many parents are worried about taking their babies into the pool so early. But, I think it is totally safe, as long as they have a proper instructor. It is exciting and a lot of fun.