Hear it from the Mammas!

The Wisdom of Skin-Skin: From One Mamma to Another

Hear it from the Mammas!

Skin-to-skin is a wonderful way to bond with your baby in moments, weeks and days following birth. It is reassuring for the baby to stay in the arms of the mother whom they know from life in utero. For the mother, nothing is more soothing than to hold, protect and provide for her baby. 

Lets hear more about this from a Mamma of two from Switzerland. 

Hi Uthra, tell us about yourself and your family.

I am Uthra, a stay at home mom. My husband, Adithya, and I have been married for five years and we have two beautiful daughters Kanaa (4.5 years) and Kalki (9 months).

How was your birthing experience with Kanaa different from Kalki?

My first child, Kanaa, was born in Palo Alto, California. Well before Kanaa was born I was very sure that I would want to take an epidural for the birthing. Kanaa, although, seemed to have a different plan for us. Even before I was induced with pitocin, I had begun to experience severe contractions, this was followed by a full dose of epidural. Labor lasted only for five hours and she was ready to be pushed out very soon. Given that I was on a full dose of epidural I couldn’t feel anything below my hip. It also did not help during the final moments of pushing. She popped out at the sixth hour of labor. My experience of birthing Kanaa was 100% painless.

My second child Kalki was born in Basel, Switzerland. The hospital was a four-minute walk from home. When the contractions began, my husband and I simply walked to the hospital with the suitcase and got admitted. Seven hours into the contractions, our midwife told us that we were doing so well and that I would very well be able to give birth without pain med. She reminded us that an epidural would only slow down the natural process. We decided that we would go ahead without any pain med this time and the pushing started after 10 hours of active labor. Of course there was more pain than I was already experiencing but, honestly, I realised how natural the process is, how the body automatically gains a whole lot of power and releases any amount of energy required in order to give birth. It was magical!

Both experiences were totally different but absolutely memorable.

How did they encourage bonding with your babies soon after birth? Was it different in California and Basel?

With my first-born, Kanaa, everything was new for the both of us. I had absolutely no idea what it was to feed, burp and put a baby to sleep. Only the day after my birthing, did the nurse introduce me to skin-skin. However, everything was different with my second one.The midwife made sure that I gave birth in absolute comfort. The hospital felt like home; as though I was taking a break from my routine to give birth to my child. The mothers especially, are expected to instinctively care for the child. There are no given instructions, no rules! All our questions were answered but unlike America where I was given a “feed routine” , a “how to burp and when to burp” lecture, the mothers were allowed to do what they thought was right to do. And the nurse would intervene if she thinks I could do something differently.

Representative photo of skin-skin moments after birth, not the family in the article.

Tell us about your skin-to-skin practice.

With Kanaa, after every feed I would burp her, lay her on my chest in a way that she could hear my heartbeat and nap with her. Thanks to my mother in law and mother, who were both there to help me one after the other, I had the luxury to simply feed and nap with Kanaa in the room. I would come out only to eat, and bathe. I continued this for two whole months.

With Kalki I would feed  and hold her for more than thirty minutes while she would sleep peacefully. I would then lay her beside me but very close to me and nap with her. Once I was home, my first one naturally expected me to be there for her usual morning routine etc., and it took her a little while to understand. During the night I would feed Kalki lying down on my side and let her sleep close to me feeling my warmth. 

Tell us how skin-to-skin helped you and how you think it helped your babies.

Feeling those tiny little fingers and toes and soft cheeks. Who wouldn’t like it ? And it’s every mother’s blessing to be able to have the opportunity to touch and feel their babies the most. Newborns usually feed and sleep in loop, and it would be just as easy to drop them in the crib soon after a feed, as it would be to hold them against your chest.  I love the feeling, the warmth of her against me and how I can wrap a tiny human being within my arms and watch her sleep peacefully.

The first couple of months are always stressful for the mommy. To be available at all odd hours to feed and to be able to put the baby to sleep at anytime. It is not easy. I believe that skin to skin helped lessen the stress. It gave me a lot of calm.

And the babies, who are so fragile and new, who’ve had the warmth and calm in the cocoon of the womb, look for the same kind of “wrapped” feeling in order to feel secure in the new world. No amount of swaddling will equal skin-skin. Once you have them on your skin the heat in your body is more than enough to keep them warm and comfortable during those first couple of weeks. It made a lot of difference.

Do you think bonding with the other parent is just as necessary?

Absolutely. My husband would hold them close and tight and have them sleep on his tummy or chest every time he could. He had the luxury of time with my first-born more than my second. It helps mothers a lot if the fathers also had skin-skin time with the babies as this helps the babies to get familiarised with the smell and touch of the fathers too. And when in distress, one wouldn’t have to always look for the mother, the skin-skin familiarisation with daddy could also calm the baby. 

Representative photo, not the family in the article.

Even siblings should be encouraged to do this. No matter how young they are. It’s every parent’s anxiety – whether the first-born would accept his or her sister/ brother easily. The sense of touch can do wonders. Kanaa was encouraged to hold Kalki a couple of times against her skin. She found it funny in the beginning but she slowly began to sing to her and feel Kalki’s new soft skin while singing. And she thoroughly loved it. I like to believe that this helped Kalki recognise her sister so easily. Kalki now enjoys Kanaa’s attention and waits for it everyday.

Can you share an encouraging note to every mamma out there to skin-to-skin?

Dear beautiful new mommies, the first couple of months after your newborn’s arrival are very important for you and the whole family. With a whole lot of emotions to deal with, first comes the happiness and excitement, followed by sleepless nights, stress and anxiety. There are times when one would just want to be left alone. Not having to care for a tiny human being all round the clock. But you’ll see how these babies return all your love and care multifold. They give back in numerous ways. So it is important to stop and take a second to breathe. Breathe with your baby against your skin. Give that time for them. You’ll see how much difference it could make. It really makes life calmer and easier during those first couple of months.

The Joy of Growing Up with Animals – From One Mamma to Another

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Growing up around animals can be a wonderful experience for children. They learn to care, love and cherish them whilst forming a strong friendship. In our increasingly nature-disconnected lives, such friendships ground and give us a clear perspective – that all of us are joined together in this intricate web of life.

Let’s hear more about the importance and joys of having animals at home, from a Mamma of two from India.

Hi Aruna, tell us a little about yourself and your family

Hello everyone!I am Aruna and I live in Salem, India with my husband Anand, our two boys –  Adarsh who is 6 years old and Akash who is 3 years old – and our three pets.

What kind of pets do you have at home?

We have a Golden Retriever – Muthu who is almost 3 years old, a Boxer – Veera who is 2.6 years and a talking Parrot – Meenu who is the oldest at 7 years and 2 months. Muthu is a charmer. He is well-mannered, very friendly and always loves to be around the boys. Veera is the naughty one; he is very curious and likes to show off his skills. He often goes on these secret missions around the house and we know that he is up to some mischief. Meenu is very chatty. She likes everyone to know her presence and says something every ten minutes to make sure she is noticed.

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How do your children interact and play with them?

The bond between the boys and our pets is very special. When the boys were babies, I used to constantly monitor their interactions because Muthu and Veera were also very young and used to be quite enthusiastic. But, over time, I realised that the dogs can be very gentle and now Muthu and Veera have become Adarsh and Akash’s constant companions, source of strength and their biggest admirers.

What steps do you take to help your boys take responsibility for the pets?

I think it comes very naturally to them just by observing us. Both my sons, especially Adarsh can feed and bathe them, and comfort them in case the pets are unwell. Once we had some guests and a little boy kept pulling Muthu’s tail. Adarsh got very upset and took Muthu to his room and stayed there until the guests left. They are both very protective of the pets.

Is it just the house pets or do your children take to animals outside the home as well?

They are generally very compassionate to animals. It’s like they can relate to them and understand them. When we visit friends who have dogs, the bond is instant and they are curious to know what they eat, where they sleep, what they like to play with, etc. Likewise, whenever we visit our farm, they love to touch and play with the cows and goats and feed them hay and water. Once, a sparrow, who is a regular visitor in our house, hurt its leg. My husband and the boys tended to the bird and took care of it until it was ready to fly.

How do your pets express care for your children?

Well, this is always most interesting. Whenever I raise my voice against the boys, they will immediately come as saviours and stand next to them, licking their feet. If the boys are sad or sick, they never leave their side.  Meenu is usually more to herself but when the boys are unwell, she can sense something is not right and will fly into their bedroom to check on them. When someone new comes to our house, like a gardener or plumber, the dogs become all protective and will never let anyone near the boys.

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Do you believe having animals around the house is important?

I actually feel it must be natural. The human-animal bond is a very mutually beneficial and dynamic relationship. It is our responsibility to protect and care for them, because this world is theirs as much as it is ours. Peaceful cohabitation should be our ultimate goal. I strongly believe in this and so I do as much to create a sense of responsibility in both the boys. So, yes, it is important to have animals around the house.

How do you navigate having pets and children at home?

Haha! That is a good question! They can all be a handful. One good thing is they are always together, so it makes it easier for me to monitor what’s going on. Some days can be very tedious, especially if one of them falls sick. Some days are so joyful and memorable. It is hardest when we have to travel because a lot of planning needs to go into taking care of the pets while we are away. Which is why, I am so grateful we have a strong support staff in our home and my husband also helps tremendously. So, it all works out well in the end with a few bumps along the way.

Can you share some lighter moments between the boys and the pets?

There are so many wonderful moments, I think I can write a book. So, Veera loves to hide things when he is off on his secret mission. He will hide anything he finds like the TV remote, our cell phone, a comb or even shoes. Then, the whole team, including Meenu are on an expedition trying to search for this one thing. Saturdays are bathing days for the dogs. They are all out on the backyard – my boys, the dogs and my husband. My husband uses a hose pipe to clean them up and usually all of them end up getting drenched amidst so much laughter and noise. Sometimes, I fear our neighbours will complain. Oh, and the mess they make! But, the smile on their face makes it all worth it in the end.

Baby Swimming with my 10 Week Old: From One Mamma to Another

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Baby swimming is a rich sensory experience that can be offered to a newborn. Water takes babies back to life in utero and helps them become aware of their body’s endless capabilities. It also aids coordination and muscle strength while working up their appetite. Baby swimming is a wonderful way for parents to just hold their little ones and bond with them!

While many of us maybe apprehensive about baby swimming, here is a Mamma from Germany who has been taking her baby swimming from the time she was 10 weeks old. Let’s hear more about this from her!

Hi Janani, tell us about yourself and your family. 

My husband and I live in Germany. Our baby girl, Agni was born in March 2018. The past 7 months have been a fun ride with her. As a couple, we love the company of nature, travelling and exploring new things. We would probably give Agni similar experiences as she grows up.

How did you find out about baby swimming?

My Hebamme (midwife) used to come home every alternate day after my delivery. She told me about it.

What made you decide to take your baby for these lessons?

I was excited as soon as I heard about it. My only question was how soon can I start? Agni was in the pool when she was 10 weeks old. Water is not such a new environment for the babies as they have been kicking and playing in the amniotic fluid for months.

Can you describe the structure of these lessons? Typically, what do you do in the water?

The lessons happen once a week for about half an hour, for 8 weeks. They begin with a song in German that helps babies get used to the new environment. The Hebamme will then slowly guide us with the exercise. The basic idea of the course is for babies to get used to water. It was an adventure pool with waterfalls, massage lounges and lazy rivers. The babies get used to water coming at them in many ways. This course was also Agni’s first social experience.

Can you share some exercises that they encourage your baby to do?

There are about 5-6 exercises that they teach in the first course. I’ll try to explain a few.

  • The mammas hold their babies and move them from side to side, back to front while maintaining eye contact. Their hands and legs are always free to move. They will then slowly start tapping and exploring water.
  • The babies are placed on their tummies while the Mammas support them on their chest with their palms while moving very fast in the water. They will raise their heads and move their hands and feet. Agni used to smile and laugh a lot when we did this exercise. I loved it!
  • The Mammas take a bucket and pour water on their hands, feet, shoulders and body. Once they are used to this, water is poured on their heads. This will help them gain breath control.
Agni swimming 3 edit
  • The babies float on their backs while mammas hold them. Generally, babies get anxious with this exercise because they cannot see what’s underneath and it takes a while for them to understand.
  • The babies are placed on a big float on their tummy with objects in front of them. They try to reach out for objects while the mammas continue to pour water on their backs.

Note: It is important to remember that it is not safe to try these exercises without a proper instructor.

Do they take the babies underwater? How was this experience?

This was only in the second half of the course when the babies were used to water falling on their heads and have some breath control. The mammas hold the babies, typically in the airplane position while the Hebamme pours water on them from legs to their head. Then, the mammas swing them 360 degrees underwater. Agni was the youngest and a bit apprehensive the first few times. So, I would take her under the shower many times. Once she got used to water falling on her head, she did it with so much ease. Now, she enjoys it!

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Do you see any noticeable changes in your baby’s movements after exposure to these lessons?

I think the lessons helped a lot with her movement and coordination of  hands. At 4.5 months, she used to move a lot on her back.

Was it always mammas in the water with the babies or did dads and grandparents take part too?

Fathers and even grandparents used to come once in a while. They would get into the water along with us.

Can you share a note to parents about baby swimming?

Many parents are worried about taking their babies into the pool so early. But, I think it is totally safe, as long as they have a proper instructor. It is exciting and a lot of fun.