Shifting Positively from NO to YES

Articles

Words are a powerful human tool that have the capacity to evoke either a response or a reaction in another person. They can create a mindset that influences our approach to the world. When someone repeatedly uses negative words, we begin to look at the world through these lens and doubt ourselves, the environment and others. On the other hand, hearing positive words inspire us to act, be kind and open to the world. Yet, with such power at our disposal, how often do we truly pay attention to the words we use and wonder how they impact others in our lives?

Babies spend the greater part of their first year soaking up life in its entirety. Since they are observant little beings, they occupy a lot of their time watching how the adults around them interact with their environment. This creates in them a fascination and an eagerness to get to know the world. So, naturally, when their bodies are finally able to match their intention, they move towards this wonderful environment they have been eyeing for months, only to hear adults say the word NO!

What is this NO?

Initially, babies do not comprehend the meaning of this word NO. They look at our facial expressions and hand gestures and stop. When they go back to reaching for the same object and hear the same word a second time, they begin to see a pattern. The curious ones usually try and reach for the same object or a different one, yet again, only to see the adult’s reaction remains consistent for a third time. When our tones and hand gestures become stronger and firmer, some babies start crying because this is not their experience of how we usually talk to them. Some other babies find the whole thing rather amusing and do it repeatedly, much to the annoyance of many adults. Soon enough, all babies begin to understand that more things in their world are NO than YES and begin to grapple with this reality.

Saying NO

Why is NO a Problem?

To understand this, let us look at what this word actually means. The word NO comes with a lot of power. We ideally use it when we do not wish to persist a situation any longer. It literally means Stop! End! NO! Considering that this two letter word carries so much power, it seems that we use it too casually, too loosely in circumstances that do not even require such authority or intensity. Our children hear the word NO countless times each day. By repeatedly using the word NO, not only are we crushing their spirit but also taking away the real value of this word. So, the problem with NO seems to stem from the frequency and context of usage and not the usage itself.

According to Dan Siegel, Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, “NO leaves you feeling reactive, making it impossible to listen, make good decisions or connect with and care for another person. A focus on survival and self-defence kicks into gear, leaving you feeling guarded and shut down when it comes to interacting with the world and learning new lessons. Your nervous system initiates its reactive fight – flight, freeze or faint response : fight means lashing out, flight means escape, freeze means temporarily immobilizing yourself and faint means feeling utterly helpless.”

What NO does to a Child

Since young children understand their world through exploration, repeatedly using the word NO subtly tells them that the world out there is not for them to explore and understand. Instead of letting them form their own ideas and views of the world, we are essentially passing on our prejudices and preferences.
Everytime we unnecessarily stop our children by using the word NO, we are feeding them this notion that the world is a place that holds many threats and dangers. This not only creates too much reliance on another person to navigate through life for them, but also curbs exploration altogether because of fear.
The more we throw in the word NO, the more our children begin to feel that they are incapable of handling the world. This leads to low self-confidence, self-doubt and an uncertainty about themselves.

Dan Siegel, in the book, The Yes Brain : How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child says, “Anything we give attention to, anything we emphasize in our experiences and interactions, creates new linking connections in the brain. Where attention goes, neural firing flows, and neural connection grows. And where neurons fire, they wire or join together. If you’ve been focusing a lot of attention on No! No! No! this is where neural firing flows, a No Brain reactive state.”

Shifting Positively from NO to YES

Fill our children’s vicinity with more YES objects and experiences.

Young children are fascinated by the interactions that adults have with their environment. This fascination stimulates action and they gravitate towards these objects. However, we constantly curb such exploration either out of fear or because we cannot manage the mess. Instead, if we rearrange the child’s environment with more objects that they can freely explore, we will make an immediate shift towards a YES environment. Instead of curtailing exploration, we will be aiding exploration and play.

Become Mindful of our Words

When we begin to watch our words and reflect on them, we can take control of the environment we are creating for our children. The next time we are tempted to revert to NO, we can just pause for a moment and ask ourselves why we want to say NO. If a child is moving towards something dangerous, we need to instantly stop them. But, in most other situations, we can divert their attention to something that they can do instead of telling them what they cannot do. A moment of reflection will give us a world of perspective and inspire a more positive response to our children.

Create a YES mindset!

Our attitude matters! By overusing NO, we not only take away its power but create a NO mindset that holds our children back from the world. By shifting positively from NO to YES, we instil in children’s little minds an attitude of positivity that stimulates openness. What’s better, they begin to trust that they are capable of tackling the uncertain world out there and run towards life with josh, enthusiasm and joy!

Akanksha’s game of Hide & Seek

Tales of Little Children

Here is a story of little Akanksha who lives in San Jose with her parents Akshay and Shyama and her younger brother Dhruv. Akanksha turned 6 last month and has been going to public school, or as she calls it “big girl school” for the past year. Her parents sheepishly remark that dear Aaku is quite a bossy little one who thinks it is her responsibility to boss everyone, just like she does with her brother!

Apart from bossing her brother around, little Aaku enjoys playing hide and seek. It started off as an innocent game when, as a toddler, she used to hide herself in the same spot and giggle away even before she was ‘found’. However, these days she has upgraded her games from hide and seek to just hiding and then for hours after that, her desperate parents have to seek her. Aaku’s disappearing acts are definitely not something that Shyama or Akshay or even Dhruv for that matter, look forward to.

Her father recollects a particularly nightmarish incident which happened last August when they experienced one of the hottest summers. The entire family had to regularly treat themselves to some water-play in the evenings when the dryness and heat would reach its peak! Aaku in particular had been complaining of the heat and much to her parents’ dislike, had started sneaking some water balloons indoors on those really hot days. One Saturday evening, in late August, the family had some guests over for the weekend and spent the evening relaxing in their backyard while the kids ran wild playing with water-guns, rolling on the grass and jumping on the hammock together. None of the adults slowed the hyper children down and, in fact, were quite excited that they were exhausting themselves without any help from their end, because they had all made a plan to watch a movie together later that night.

After a lot of screaming, giggling and plenty of water-play, Shyama took both the kids to the bath and after a quick shower and an unexpected second-innings of water-play in the bath, brought the kids for dinner with the family. Dhruv was dozing off at the table and made no fuss to go to sleep, but Aaku, who was overtired, decided to jump on her bed and ask her father to read not one, but three books. Akshay had obliged and finally tucked her in to sleep and joined the group for the much awaited movie-night!

The movie was so gripping that all of them were completely engrossed in it and had not realised how late it had become. After the movie, Shyama decided to check in on the kids while Akshay attended to their guests. As Shyama took a quick peek into the kids’ room, she saw Dhruv sleeping soundly on his bed, but Aaku was missing. Shyama immediately checked the bathroom and also took a look under the bed and on the side, incase she had fallen down, but Aaku was nowhere to be seen. She panicked and immediately came outside and informed Akshay. They checked the kitchen and every other room, including all her favourite hiding spots – behind the blinds, under her parents bed, in the bathtub and even in the pantry, but Aaku was no where to be seen. At this point, Shyama was hysterical and the whole house had been woken up, including a half-asleep Dhruv who separately went to each room shouting “Aakshu akka, Aakshu akka” (akka for big sister) without understanding fully what all the noise was about. Akshay was ready to call 911 for help, when Shyama suddenly remembered to check in the backyard. And there on the hammock, sleeping quite soundly despite all the noise, was little Aaku. On being woken up and asked why she even came outside the house and if she wasn’t scared, little Aaku cooly replied that her room was too hot!! They realised that their naughty little first born had gone out through the kitchen door into the backyard and since all of them were pretty engrossed in the thrilling movie, they hadn’t noticed.

Well, on one side, the parents were relieved on finding Aaku but reprimanded her and put a little fear into her about coyotes and bats in the dark. However, Akshay wearily says that knowing his daughter, he wouldn’t be surprised if she decides to make another disappearing act. Saying thus, he recollects another traumatising incident back in India, when Aaku had accompanied her grandpa to the vendor selling watermelons and while her grandpa was picking the watermelon, had climbed into a random school bus. He also mentions another incident when Aaku had gone and hidden herself in a dog’s kennel in their neighbour’s house while the entire family was searching for her. He yawns and says he will reserve those stories for another day!

Play with the Natural Environment : From One Mamma to Another

Hear it from the Mammas!

Today, we live in a society where children and adults are increasingly cut off from and deprived of time with nature. How can we expand our understanding of outdoor play and understand the importance of children playing with nature?

We have a Montessori Mamma of an 18 month old from Bangalore, India sharing how children can explore the outdoors and develop a sense of belonging with the natural world.

Hi Karuna, tell us about yourself and your family.

Thank you for having me on Srishti. I am from Hyderabad, India and currently settled in Bangalore with my husband and our daughter, Urvi. My mother was a Montessori guide and that inspired me to become a certified Montessori teacher. Being aware of the Montessori philosophy, my husband and I chose to adopt it at home. It is a way of life and has empowered us as parents in so many ways.

Can you describe Urvi’s home environment with some details about different parts of her home such as the living room, bedroom, bath, kitchen and dining?

Living Room : At the foyer, we have a child-sized chair set up for her to be able to sit down, put on or take off her socks and shoes. We keep two pairs of shoes tucked under the chair and the socks come from her wardrobe. Adjacent to the living room, we have an entertainment room with a few age-appropriate activities and an indoor slide set up for her.

Bedroom : Although we co-sleep, ever since she was mobile, we moved her onto a floor bed to facilitate independence. We have a small area set up with books and 2-3 activities for her to choose from while she is getting ready to tuck in for the night. We also have a changing station that includes a child-sized chair, a laundry basket, dustbin and a table with all the necessary supplies for her to access. At the dressing area, she has access to her comb, tissues to wipe herself, bindis and a few hair bands if she wishes to wear one.

Bathroom : Our bathroom setup is still a work-in-progress. At the moment, we are in the toilet learning phase and the door is always open for her to access. We have a floor potty chair, if she chooses to sit on it. As she has been showing interest in the water closet, we have a training seat on it as well. We are yet to set up a stool for her to be able to wash her hands independently. Meanwhile. we help her up at the wash basin to wash her hands. We’ve also kept a small towel for her to dry her hands once she is done.

Kitchen & Dining : We converted an old step-stool into a kitchen helper in order to facilitate independence in the kitchen. Few of her utensils such as plates, glasses and spoons and snacks are arranged in an IKEA play kitchen. We also have a few cleaning utensils like a dustpan, brush, mop cloth and mopping stick handy for her to use when there is a spill.

At mealtime, she has a choice between eating at her child-sized table and chair or at our table. She sits on the high chair or bar stool when she is at the table.

Tell us a little about Urvi’s daily routine.

On a typical day, Urvi’s day starts between 6 and 7 am. Changing her diaper, offering to sit on the toilet and brushing her teeth are the three things that we try to be consistent with. If she resists, we come back when she is ready.

Mornings are usually rushed, but she is involved in meal preparation, if it is simple (like idly or rice roti). She spends time with her father either reading books, listening to music, putting away laundry or going outside. Between 8 and 9 am, she has her breakfast followed by a bath.

Between 10am and 12 pm, we do a sensory activity, listen to music or if the weather permits, we explore our outdoors and have a snack in-between. By 1pm she has her lunch. Usually, she takes a nap for an hour or two between 2 and 4 pm. Post 4pm, we run errands, do household chores, visit a park or do an activity at home like art, food preparation or dance. By 7pm, she has her dinner and bath around 8.30pm. Before going to bed, we spend sometime reading or singing a few songs.

What constitutes Urvi’s outdoor environment?

We live in an ancestral house and are fortunate to have a back and front yard. The front yard has a few potted plants and a lawn. The backyard is mostly concrete floor with a patch of lawn.

What are some ways in which Urvi explores the outdoors?

At present, she is drawn to movement, especially climbing, and loves climbing anything she can. An example being, the gate or stairs or a ramp. She enjoys following ants, butterflies and snails. At one point, she loved plucking leaves and flowers but now she prefers putting them in her mouth. Outdoor time has been an opportunity for trial and errors. Just the other day when we were outside, she put her thermic sense to use and started standing at different areas to check the heat. Our outdoor environment has been a wonderful source of repetition and concentration.

What kind of outdoor activities do you set up for Urvi? How do you change them according to her needs and interests?

In the front yard, we have two buckets of different colours, a wheelbarrow and a watering can. One bucket is used to fill water for watering plants and the other bucket is for collecting dried or fallen leaves. The collected leaves are used for our fir trees as compost.

In the backyard, we have rice flour for doing rangoli, bubble solution, primary coloured clothes pegs which she uses while drying clothes. We also use the pegs as an open-ended toy to form different shapes. We have some coloured chalk to go wild on the floor and refine her fine motor skills, a bowl and brush to paint with water on the floor and also a small scooter to scuttle around.

Our small patch of lawn has a concrete boundary and Urvi uses it as a balance beam. One of her preferred activities is to climb up the ramp, drop a ball and watch it roll. If there is something she is trying to master, I try to incorporate it in the outdoors or indoors.

We love spending time in the outdoors doing sensory and art based activities. We spend some quiet time outside as well to observe and listen to our surroundings. We do sound mapping – since she still can’t put her thoughts on paper, we track sounds by pointing in the direction of it. If we find an insect, snail or butterfly that is idle, we try to observe it in proximity.

How do you cultivate a love for plants and caring for them in Urvi?

The way she interacts with plants has changed over time. At one point, she had this strong urge to pull, pluck and yank flowers and leaves. Although, I gave her opportunities to satisfy her need to pull, my husband and I constantly modelled gentleness and mindfulness towards everything that needs to be dealt with care. Now, at 18 months, she is slowly aware of the fact that weeds need to be plucked, flowers can be plucked for use, herbs can be cut for cooking and everything in the garden needs nurturing.

Do you regularly give her experiences of other outdoor environments that involve fresh air, plant care and natural exploration? How do you manage to find such places in buzzing, urban cities?

Almost 3-4 times a week, we go to different children’s parks in and around our locality. At least once a week, we go to the market to buy fresh fruits, vegetables and flowers. There are days when we simply go for a stroll on the roads near our home (you will be surprised with the amount of things that catches our attention). To be honest, living in the city is quite a challenge in terms of finding age-appropriate places to explore with her, but through friends and social media, we find interesting places and events to explore at times.

In what ways, do you think Urvi has benefitted from the outdoors?

I feel that spending time outdoors has helped her to be physically active. All the experiences outdoors, from her crawling days to walking now, has helped her to develop good balance, agility and coordination. At times, I find her in bouts of deep concentration. She seems to be aware of her surroundings and has good observation skills. Most of all, I feel it has helped her to be a calm and collected child.

As a parent, why do you think it is important for young children to spend considerable time outdoors, amidst nature?

Having exposed Urvi to spending time outdoors since birth, I feel that it has been the best stimulus for all the senses. The child is constantly evolving and nature has the power to constantly cater to the child’s developing needs. Being in nature is the perfect opportunity to observe the natural habitat for animals, notice changes in seasons, enjoy the cycle of plant growth. Supporting the child’s experiences and exploration through precise language nurtures their learning further. The foundation for all the sciences is rooted in nature and the best thing we can do as adults is to give them the time and expose them to different situations and places.

Can you share a few guidelines with other parents on how to set up an outdoor environment for young children? (both apartments as well as independent houses)

For most parents, the biggest challenge is knowing what activities to offer to their children when it comes to the outdoors. Although there is no particular list to refer to, I believe irrespective of age, it’s wonderful to expose our children to gardening and composting. For a lot of us, gardening can be quite intimidating but for young children all you need is a pot, soil, seeds and water. It may grow, it may not, weeds may come, worms can come, the plant might die – it’s all an opportunity to learn.

For the ones who do not have enough outdoor space, they can consider bringing outdoor elements into the indoor space. A few easy-to-maintain and safe indoor plants for the child to take care of or a few herbs by the windowsill, a bird feeder, art, water play and open-ended loose parts (chips of wood, stones etc.) to explore can be other things to consider.

Making Peas Pulav

Our Little Kitchen

Peas Pilaf or Pulav is an aromatic rice made using a variety of spices and green peas. It is a wonderful multi-step activity that helps young children in sequencing and organising steps and coordinating their fine motor movements. The control required in spooning rice and peas, pouring water and calculating when to close the water dispenser are simple challenges that make the activity exciting. Not to mention, the aromatic spices are a treat to the olfactory and gustatory senses.

Who is this for?

I would begin around 22- 24 months

Things Required

1 medium sized bowls (½ cup shelled green peas)
1 medium bowl (1 cup long-grain basmati rice)
1 pitcher (water)
1 small bowl (2 tbsp ghee or soft butter)
1 small bowl (2 – 3 cloves)
1 small bowl (cumin seeds)
1 small bowl (salt to taste)
1 mixing ladle
1 spoon
1 rice cooker

Preparation

I generally do not recommend pre-measuring water in a cup because walking up and down to fetch water and learning when to close and open the water-dispenser challenges young children’s judgement and developing gross motor coordination. I also do not prefer to crowd the pulav with too many spices especially when young children are smelling, tasting and mixing.

Slicing onions are a wonderful step that can be added to the recipe. Onions can be sliced by the adult since they are tough roots. However, the tears that come while slicing onions, the spicy taste and aromatic smell of onions are all wonderful experiences to offer young children who can assist in discarding the skin, washing the onion, etc.

As always, you are the best judge of what works for your child in your kitchen!

Illustrated Guide

I like to begin with an invitation, “Let’s go and make peas pulao for dinner.” Introduce all the ingredients at the table.

Let the child touch and feel the tough peas, the washed rice and smell the spices and ghee.

Show the child to spoon the rice into the cooker.

Move the peas to the front and the empty rice bowl to the back to give better access to the child. Show the child to spoon the peas into the cooker.

Once they have been transferred, mix the two well.

Show the child to measure two cups of water and pour into the cooker. Let the child pour however they can.

Transfer the cumin, cloves and the salt into the cooker.

Bring the ghee bowl closer to the cooker and pour it into the cooker.

Mix all the ingredients well.

The child can carry it to the plug source and the adult can plug it in. Involve the child in putting the used items away or for wash. Once the rice is done, take in the aroma and warmth of the pulao.

Short Guide

I like to begin with an invitation, “Let’s go and make peas pulao for dinner.”
Introduce all the ingredients at the table. Let the child touch and feel the tough peas, the washed rice and smell the spices and ghee.
Show the child to spoon the rice into the cooker.
Move the peas to the front and the empty rice bowl to the back to give better access to the child.
Show the child to spoon the peas into the cooker.
Show the child to spoon the peas into the cooker.
Once they have been transferred, mix the two well.
Show the child to measure two cups of water and pour into the cooker. Let the child pour however they can.
Transfer the cumin, cloves and the salt into the cooker.
Bring the ghee bowl closer to the cooker and pour it into the cooker.
Mix all the ingredients well.
The child can carry it to the plug source and the adult can plug it in.
Involve the child in putting the used items away or for wash.
Once the rice is done, take in the aroma and warmth of the pulao.

Note

Since the recipe calls for several small bowls, as you finish transferring, you can tell the child that the bowl is empty and move it to the side. Washing Rice and Shelling Peas are separate activities which can be viewed here.

In the Kitchen with Young Children

Articles

In a lot of ways, a healthy relationship with food begins not at the table but in the kitchen where the transformation happens. For children to understand food as a whole, we need to show them where and how it is prepared. The kitchen is where the magic happens – raw vegetables are made into delicious stews and sabzis, flour and lentils are kneaded and cooked to create roti and dal. To look at food with knowledge, wonder and joy, we must collaborate with children in the process. This involves understanding the benefits of food preparation and preparing a space that will aid exploration and growth.

Some Factors to Consider before Preparing the Kitchen

An Accessible Space

An important aspect of preparing the kitchen is to make it a welcoming space for the young child. This is a balancing act of having a few areas accessible, giving them responsibilities in those areas and then progressing to more. For children who are just toddling, having a few low shelves that they can independently access gives them the confidence to step into the kitchen and fetch what they need. They can also have a low table and chair to which simple tasks such as peeling oranges, or churning buttermilk can be carried to. As they grow and gain more confidence in the kitchen, a step stool can be carried by them to open the kitchen further for exploration. A step stool makes the sink accessible to do washing or the counter where we can collaborate in a variety of food preparation activities. Often, children end up asking us for simple things such as water or snack which they can independently fetch. A step stool frees such dependency and lets them access these without having to rely on us to provide everything.

Aishu Kitchen 3

Real Tools

So often, children are given pretend tools that are made of cheap material and do not serve any purpose. By using these tools, children cannot accomplish the intended task even though they are eager to. Instead, if we offer them real, age-appropriate tools, we are giving the opportunity to understand where to hold, how much pressure to exert, how to hold and many other concepts which they can never learn by using a toy.

Appropriately- Sized

Normally, everything in the kitchen is to the size of the adult. Just as it is difficult for us to do anything purposeful with ill-sized tools, it is hard for young children to use large and heavy tools to create anything meaningful. Not only is it dangerous, it is also frustrating and may lead to a lack of confidence in their capability. So, it is helpful to look for tools that they can hold in their little hands and manipulate.

Caution & Safety

Safety is a feature that always needs to be taken into consideration when it comes to young children. It is a dynamic aspect that keeps evolving depending on the age and capabilities of the child. What is safe for a four year old may not be safe for a toddler and this comes only with observing the child act in the kitchen while also gradually increasing their scope for exploration. As adults who are responsible for our children, we must be sure to take the necessary precautionary measures to make the kitchen a safe yet challenging space for exploration and growth.

What do Children get from being in the Kitchen?

Fine & Gross Motor Refinement

The kitchen challenges both the fine and gross motor skills of the child. Whether they are carrying the step stool or a jug of water from the sink to the table, they are constantly refining their gross motor skills. Kneading, pounding, mashing, whisking, grating and peeling challenge their fine motor skills. They also learn to build judgement and reasoning such as how much pressure to exert, how to carry or how to use their hands through these movements.

Plenty of Language

The amount of language children pickup by being in the kitchen is phenomenal. The kitchen is a lively place of action which allows for language to be created alongside experiences. As we involve children, we can use words for the actions we are going to perform, name the various ingredients or describe their features such as crunchy or creamy. Such language is not merely a build-up of vocabulary but one that is accompanied by experiences that add real meaning and value to each word.

Willingness to do for others

Michael Pollan, the author of Cooked : A Natural History of Transformation, says, “For is there any practice less selfish, any labor less alienated, any time less wasted, than preparing something delicious and nourishing for people you love?”

Food is an expression of love and young children are eager to be involved in this expression. Just being in the kitchen and helping out in whatever way they can, allows children to understand that they are a part of their family and recognise that they can also have an impact on it. By collaborating in preparing a simple meal for their family, children derive a sense of purpose and willingness to do for others.

Attitude towards Food

When children handle raw vegetables, measure, mix and knead dough or wash and dry fruits, vegetables or rice, their experiences with being a part of the process changes their attitude towards food radically. They know what they are eating and slowly acknowledge the effort that has gone into making it. When they have participated in the preparation, they also have a personal association with the dish which makes it a lot more inviting.

Sensory Treat

Lastly, the experiences of being in the kitchen are nothing short of a sensory treat for the child. The aroma of the various ingredients, fruits, herbs and vegetables, the varied tastes, the experience of watching the way the ingredients blend together, the sounds of the mustard crackling, the sambhar bubbling or the tactile exploration of each of the ingredients together offer a wide database for the growing intellect. It paves the way for imagination which is the foundation of creativity!

The overall benefits of being in the kitchen outweigh the fears associated with it. In a well prepared kitchen, the child has abundant opportunities to learn and grow. It is an engaging way to bond with children and create lasting memories that will change their life-long relationship with food and the natural world.

Little Abu, the Barber

Tales of Little Children

Here is a story of little Abu, a five year old with Dennis the Menace haircut and mischievous hazel eyes that twinkled every time he was upto something. Abu lives in Bangalore, India with his Mamma and Papa, his Dadi whom he loves dearly and a pet cat – Bijli. Abu loves to ride his scooter, mostly indoors than outdoors and on many days uses them as his only mode of transport within the house. Bijli would follow Abu from room to room and on realising that Abu has no plans of parking his scooter, would grunt and go find a cozy spot near Dadi’s sitting chair.

Little Abu loves his Dadi and enjoys going on walks with her to the weekly vegetable market. Dadi would insist on leaving the scooter behind and after some tears and tantrums, Abu, a thrilled Bijli and Dadi would walk together with a basket to buy vegetables. Meanwhile, Abu’s mamma silently worried that he was naughty and tried to set up more playdates to help him make more friends. Although little Abu was a sweet and friendly boy, his naughtiness often didn’t go well with his peers, sometimes even their parents! While Mamma was working on setting up playdates, Dadi was trying to find alternate ways to engage a constantly moving Abu. Abu would go round and round Dadi in his scooter and Dadi felt soreness in her stiff neck which had to constantly spin around to keep up with Abu. She purchased a craft kit with a pair of scissors, a bottle of glue, several coloured paper strips and even some stickers to engage her beloved grandson differently.

Abu was instantly drawn to the craft kit, especially the scissors. He had seen them before in mamma’s sewing room but those had large blades with huge finger-holes and mamma had not even let Abu near them. These scissors were smaller, more wieldy and Abu took to them right away. Dadi found Abu and Bijli sitting next to her; Bijli purring and Abu practicing cutting the coloured paper strips. It was a proud moment for Dadi, her trick had worked! Abu was finally sitting in one place and her neck was happy. All seemed well with the world.

Very soon, Abu had mastered cutting and was no longer interested in the paper strips. One evening, after dinner, just as Dadi was pulling her pallu to wipe up her mouth and hands, she found them looking like confetti. Bijli, who had silently witnessed this mischievous act, purred and looked away. Abu, on the other hand giggled playfully and ran away. Mamma had to reprimand Abu and tell him not to cut up Dadi’s sari. Abu had righteously asked how mamma spent all day cutting up cloth in her sewing room and nobody had reprimanded her!

A few silent weeks later, Dadi thought that the inappropriate cutting days were behind them and was shocked to find her favourite hibiscus leaves cut up in odd shapes! She chided Abu for cutting up the leaves and had to do the inevitable – take the craft kit away for a few weeks! Abu seemed upset but Dadi believed this would teach him not to cut just about anything and everything in the future.

While Dadi’s worries were put to rest, mamma had been working on setting up playdates for Abu. One Saturday morning, on their way to a haircut, Mamma had told Abu that Dadi’s niece and her son Romy were to visit the family. Mamma had prepared Abu to be a good boy and he was excited to meet Romy. After the haircut, Mamma had sat Abu down and talked him through being kind, sharing and not being a naughty boy. Little Abu had nodded his head rapidly in acknowledgement and Mamma hoped for the best!

Once the guests arrived, there was a lot of noise and joy in the air. Abu and Romy had been shy initially and hid behind their respective mothers. In a short while, Mamma found the boys playing football in the veranda and was overjoyed. After football, Abu rushed indoors and asked Dadi for the craft kit. Dadi, who was having an emotional union with her niece, half listened to Abu, opened her Godrej and took the craft kit and gave it to him. Abu and Romy delightedly took off to Abu’s favourite corner in the house, the secluded spot behind the bookcase. The boys seemed awfully quiet and the adults attributed it to the newly formed friendship.

In a short while, Abu and Romy happily came out; Romy was wearing a hat. Mamma recognised the hat instantly since Abu’s Papa had gifted him the hat with the letters RF on it. Mamma and Dadi were happy to see Abu part with such a special gift. When they asked Abu if he was sure about parting with the hat, Abu nodded and so did Romy. After the guests left, Abu and Bijli took off again in the scooter on their usual rounds. Mamma was preoccupied with thoughts on how Abu was becoming less naughty, just as her phone began to ring.

On the line was Romy’s mother narrating quite a remarkable story. Little Abu seemed to have given Romy a haircut behind the bookcase! He had then parted with the RF hat to hide the hideous looking fringe. Mamma could not believe her ears and ran to the bookcase and there they were – tiny bits of black hair and a lonely pair of scissors!

Around the World with our Little Globe Trotter : From One Mamma to Another

Hear it from the Mammas!

Travelling can be exciting for many adults – seeing new sights, trying different cuisines and experiencing new cultures! But, how does it work when you travel with young children who thrive on routine and consistency?

Let’s ask a Mamma of a chirpy 24 month old how she manages to make travelling the world memorable for the whole family.

Hi Apoorva, tell us about yourself and your family.

I’m a new mom who loves to travel and explore new places. My husband’s job requires him to travel across the globe and country. Our 2-year-old daughter, Abirami, loves going to new places, so we never miss the opportunity to pack our bags and go exploring. Traveling with an infant has never been an issue with our daughter being people-friendly and fuss free.

When was Abirami’s first travel?

Our first travel with our daughter was our trip to our hometown from Coimbatore, where she was born. She was only 4 days old when she traveled by car for about 1.5 hours. Car travel at that age is easy with a baby seater at the back of the car. She just needed a feed or two for which we used to slow down the car. She slept peacefully through out with music in the background.

Her first flight travel was when she was 42 days old. I carried her in a topponcino which kept her warm and cozy. I have figured that the best way to keep my baby calm in the flight is to feed her during takeoff and landing. This helped avoiding ear pain or blockage that usually happens when children fly.

How many countries have you visited together in the last 24 months?

In the past 2 years we have been thrice to Singapore, Australia, Cambodia, Paris, Switzerland, Germany and the UAE. We’ve also made local trips from Chennai to Coimbatore, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Bangalore and Mangalore. We’ve traveled in all modes of transportation from airplanes, trains, ferries, gondolas to cars.

Little Abirami of the famous “Abirami & Daddy”

Can you share with us Abirami’s diet during travel?

I make sure that our daughter’s diet doesn’t change much whether she is traveling or at home.

Breakfast:

For breakfast, she usually has a traditional South Indian meal of rice, dal, boiled vegetables and yoghurt. I carry a small electric cooker wherever I travel and purchase local fruits, vegetables and yoghurt. Sometimes, I give her a bowl of wholesome cereal with fruit purée (which any chef at any restaurant is glad to make). I also offer her some bread and cheese to add some variety to the mix.

Mid- morning/Lunch:

I follow an age-old recipe that has been passed down from my grandmother which is a serving of multigrain cereal (made with finger-millet, corn, pearl-millet, nuts and rice) mixed with water and a serving of milk. This cereal is wholesome and very filling and is also easy to prepare. I usually add a spoon of brown raw sugar to it and serve it in a bottle with a few ounces of milk.

Supper:

I make a variation of a whole grain millet porridge by changing its consistency. I make it thick and chewy and alternate it in taste by adding raw brown sugar one day and a pinch of salt and a few spoons of rasam the next day.

Dinner:

Dinner is typically any Indian tiffin with less spice. My daughter loves to eat Idly, Dosa, Upma or Rotis. I try to serve it with a less spicy version of our side dishes. I also make it wholesome by adding carrots, beans, beets and peas to them. I typically include a portion of fruits like banana, apple, orange, pomegranate and pear before or after dinner. When we are travelling, I also try to make soups and pastas depending on the produce available locally. If not, I always have the traditional dishes to fall back on.

How do you manage air travel and jet lag which are major challenges for most parents?

The secret is to book night flights! That way when you fly out from home, it is the baby’s natural sleeping time. Try booking a bassinet seat so that both of you can rest comfortably for a few hours. The other secret to stress free travel is to keep the baby engaged while traveling. I carry a lot of light weight books, and her favourite toy and puzzle set along. Paper and colour pencils always come handy too. I try to keep phone usage minimum but when nothing else works, I allow my daughter to play age appropriate and interactive games for not more than an hour. Once she is well rested during the travel, jet lag doesn’t pose much of a threat. My daughter is always up along with me or a few hours after. Jet lag typically hits when we are sightseeing or during the later part of the day. I try not to disturb her when it hits and allow her to sleep in the stroller or the baby carrier making sure she is fed and has clean diapers.

What’s your secret to helping her sleep on the go, in-car seats and in new places ?

The best thing you can do is to feed the baby and make sure the diapers are clean. The other best thing on the go, is the baby carrier. I use Ergobaby carrier which is ergonomically designed and comfortable for the baby. Lucky, my daughter sleeps well on a moving vehicle. Car seats and prams have always been helpful but I make sure she is not in them for more than a couple of hours.

How do you deal with health issues like fever, cold and diarrhoea?

The most important thing while traveling with a baby is not to panic when they fall sick. I keep a set of prescription medications handy. I consult and talk to my pediatrician regarding dosage and administer the medicines. To avoid cold and fever, we make sure she is properly layered while traveling by plane or to cold places. Taking an umbrella, hats and caps is a must while traveling to tropical countries. I constantly let her sip liquids like water and juices when we travel, especially during flight travel, where the body gets dehydrated easily. I try to offer fresh food and give her lots of boiled vegetables and fruits to keep stomach bugs at bay.

Can you share some interesting travel experiences from which you learnt abundantly?

I believe that travel is the best teacher and it teaches one to be modest and shows the tiny place we occupy in this big world. It it is the best thing we give to our daughter as the experiences can never be taken away. She enjoys traveling as much as we do and loves the little things we don’t find amusing, be it a flying cockatoo or the dirty sledge and snow on top of the alps. I loved watching her get along with our friend’s son who is French. It was amazing to watch them play and converse, despite their language barrier. She even called his mom “Tina Athai” on her own!(Athai meaning Dad’s sister)

The Little Globe Trotter 3

A few tips to other mammas on navigating global travel with young children?

Do not stress about traveling with the baby!
Make a checklist of important things to carry and ensure you have them when you travel.
Invest in a good quality baby carrier. Believe me, it makes your life so much easier!!
Carry extra clothes for you and the baby and try to limit the number of diapers you carry. You can always buy your brand in other cities and countries.
Try to carry your own food for the baby. That way you are sure about what goes in the food you give your baby.
Plan your visits and sightseeing keeping in mind the baby’s schedule.
Keep an open mind about germs and let your baby move around, whether in airports or airplanes. After all, that’s how they improve their immunity.

Finally, let go of your worries and enjoy the moment. The little mischiefs and loveable smiles are all you will remember after your tiring travel!

The Difference between Unstructured Outdoor Play and Outdoor Play Structures

Articles

What is Play?

The word play brings to mind exploring something with an open mind, discovering its properties, understanding what it can or cannot do and forming new ideas. For the child under six, play is a bridge that links them to the world. This play is the work of the child and through it, they form many new ideas about the world while also understanding themselves and their endless capabilities.

Outdoor play is an important aspect of play that introduces to the young child the wonders of the natural world.

“Play is motivated by means more than ends. Play is constantly evolving and developing into new forms of play and play schemes. Play is also not passive but requires constant assessment and engaged minds.”
Angela J. Hanscom, Balanced & BareFoot

Unstructured Outdoor Play

The word unstructured by itself removes limitations on the child’s exploration of the outdoors. The outdoor environment has so much sensory stimuli that unstructured play allows the child to choose which stimulus they would like to be drawn to.

Bonding with Nature

In today’s world which is crowded by tall buildings, endless traffic and busy schedules, outdoor play provides a respite to the young child. It slows down time just a little bit, allowing them to freely play in the natural surroundings. This kind of play in the outdoors without all the layers of human touch is vital for the child to form a lasting relationship with nature.

Dynamic Challenges

When we leave the child to freely explore the natural world, they can set their own challenges depending on the stage of development they are in. A baby might simply be on a patch of grass, crawling and watching a butterfly or grasping a flower while a toddler might choose run on the grass, feed birds and pick fallen leaves. Older children with more controlled movements are free to set more complex challenges such as climbing trees, hiking up a steep slope or running and playing with the dog.

This kind of structure-free play frees up the mind to set challenges for oneself and devise strategies to overcome them.

Sharpening Judgement

Imagine the young child in a natural environment and think of the endless possibilities for building judgement. As adults, we sometimes forget that the child is building judgement through play. Every interaction such as crawling to a leaf, trying to catch a dragonfly, getting pricked by a thorn, feeling the prickly grass, falling down while running or jumping high for the branch with the fruit calls for calculation. These are essential for the child to hone and a structure-free natural environment will do a lot to constantly challenge the young child’s judgement.

Vivid Imagination

Because of the range of sensory input the child receives by playing outdoors, the abstractions they form are diverse. These lay a strong foundation for the budding imagination. An older child will begin to show signs of this imagination when they use leaves as medicines in their imaginary play, twigs as huts, straw for water boats and so on. This imagination which is more manifest in the older child has its foundation in that small baby who plays with the outdoor environment and understands it.

Outdoor Play Structures

Outdoor play structures on the other hand are specially designed structures to challenge young children’s gross motor skills, their vestibular sense and overall mind-body coordination. Some commonly found structures are swings and slides, merry-go-round, jungle gyms and climbing domes.

Fixed Challenges

Each of the play structures are created for a specific challenge. For example, the slide is designed for the child to climb/crawl up the ladder using calculated movements and then slide down at full speed. While sliding down, the child’s vestibular sense is stimulated. The same goes for most other commonly found play structures. They are designed for fixed challenges and do not hold the same openness as natural environments with dynamic challenges.

Not Exactly Outdoor Play

While swings and slides which are large equipments fit better in an outdoor environment, they are not necessarily outdoor play. There is no element of nature involved in this play apart from some fresh air which comes naturally by being outdoors.

No Room for Imagination

A swing or a slide or merry-go-round does not challenge the child’s inner need for exploration. Play is something that must show different dimensions with each exploration. Imagine adults calling a treadmill or an elliptical ‘play’. These are specific gym equipments designed for specific purposes. Likewise, the outdoor park structures are specific equipments designed to serve specific purposes and they do not do anything else to feed the child’s imagination.

Why is it Important to Understand the Difference?

These days, when we use the word outdoor play, it somehow immediately translates to play in park structures. As we have seen, outdoor play is so much more than playing on a swing or climbing a jungle gym. Although play structures help challenge the child’s gross motor skills, they do not necessarily feed other areas of development which a natural, unstructured play environment fosters. While it is necessary for us to take our children to the neighbourhood park to challenge their gross motor skills, it is also equally important to plan and take our children to natural settings with raw nature unfolding. The structured outdoor parks with plastic grass, wood chips and foam mats are not the same as the uneven outdoor trails,the hilly slopes with wild flowers and shrubs, the stones and gravel which make the play a lot more challenging.

“Playing in nature adds an element of adventure. Nature is unpredictable and exploring nature is always an exciting experience. Since playground equipment only serves a few functions, it often leaves little to the imagination. Having access to movable natural items, such as branches, rocks, sticks, leaves and pinecones adds a new element to play. Natural playgrounds tend to inspire creative play in children because there are endless play opportunities.”
Angela J. Hanscom, Balanced & BareFoot

When we expand our understanding of outdoor play, we will begin to look beyond the park fences and understand that outdoor play is the beginning of a lifetime of friendship, love and oneness with the natural world.

Shyam’s trip to the Zoo

Tales of Little Children

Here is a story of little Shyam who lives in Mysore with his parents Santhosh and Nidhi. Five year old Shyam has loved animals ever since he was a toddler and over the years accumulated many miniature figurines in his home. He recently watched the Jungle Book with his mother and was thoroughly spellbound by Mowgli and his life in the wild. Ever since, little Shyam has played Mowgli in his imaginary world with the miniature figurines as his friends.

Because of his love for animals, Santhosh decided to treat Shyam by taking him to the local zoo where he could see some real life animals. Little Shyam had excitedly planned his trip, interjecting many questions like “Will we see Baloo in the zoo?” and how he will scream and run when he sees “Kaa.” What Shyam did not fully comprehend was the meaning of the word Zoo!

On the day of the much-anticipated trip, Shyam and Santhosh arrived at the zoo. The entire ride was spent in Shyam asking questions about what animals they will see and if he could play and swing with them. A worried Santhosh had clearly told Shyam that he cannot go near the animals and must hold appa’s hand at all times. At the zoo, Santhosh purchased two tickets and the duo excitedly entered together.

Soon, they reached the enclosure with the grey langurs.

Santhosh : See Shyama! Here are the Langurs. They are monkeys. Let us count how many monkeys are there in this cage.

Shyam : Appa! Look at that monkey’s tail. It is so long Appa.

Santhosh : Yes Shyama, monkeys have long tails.

Without a pause, Shyam immediately asked “Why?”

Santhosh : Monkeys need long tails to jump from one branch to another Shyama. The long tails give them balance so that they don’t fall down .

Santhosh was very pleased with his informative reply. Little did he know what was coming next.

Shyam : Appa, there are no branches here. Where will these monkeys jump?

Santhosh found the question bemusing yet innocent and couldn’t help but acknowledge a tinge of guilt creeping up as he looked at the enclosure packed with monkeys. He brushed the thought aside and proceeded to answer his curious son!

Santhosh : This is a zoo Shyama. The monkeys are here only for us to come and see them.

Thankfully, Shyam hadn’t fully paid attention to his father’s reply and was swiftly shooting out his next observation, “Appa, look at this monkey. It’s holding something and eating.”

Santhosh was relieved at the move on the subject and responded, “Yes yes, monkeys eat nuts and fruits.”

Shyam : Nuts? Like the nuts in my mechanical set?

Santhosh : No no, nuts like palm tree nuts, figs and bananas.

Shyam : But there are no trees here. Where will these monkeys find their nuts?

Santhosh : Look over there! That is the zookeeper, he will buy nuts and fruits for these monkeys from the supermarket.

The educative zoo trip was proving to be more educative for Santhosh than little Shyam. They finally made a move from the monkey enclosure to an enclosure with colourful parrots.

Santhosh : Look, Shyama, at these beautiful parrots and cockatiels. Look at the colour of their feather and their beak.

Shyam was meanwhile distractedly observing a particularly loud and large crow cawing from a big bin.

He immediately giggled and said “Appa, look at this crow and the way its saying kaa kaa.”

Santhosh : What is there in a crow Shyama? Look at these parrots. They are special and beautiful in colour.

Shyam : The crow is also beautiful in colour Appa.

While Santhosh looked at his son amused and surprised, little Shyama continued to look at the crow, playing a game of caw-caw with very excited squeals and jumps in between.

Washing Rice

Our Little Kitchen

Washing rice is a tradition that has been sacredly followed in many cultures for several generations. Children growing up in such environments watch this activity on a daily basis. This familiarity creates enthusiasm and since it involves water, they relish it. The texture of the dry rice as against the wet rice, the unique scent of each rice and their colour, along with the eye-hand coordination and muscle strength that this activity requires, contribute to an engaging and rich sensory experience.

Who is this for?

I would recommend this for children older than 18 months.

Things Required

1 small bowl for rice (white, brown, black or red)
1 medium pitcher for water
1 rice washing colander
1 medium bowl for the starchy water

Preparation

Usually, as adults, we wash rice at the sink by holding the colander in one hand and washing with the other. This is hard for young children who lack that kind of control. Also, most sinks at our homes are at adult height and for a toddler to stand on a step stool and handle the colander and water is inconvenient. For this reason, I find that having everything at a table frees the child to focus on the task in hand. An older child, who has more balance and control over water usage can wash directly at the sink.

Some families are sentimental about wastage of rice. In such a case, minimise the quantity of rice in the bowl or switch to a smaller bowl.

I also feel that we need to find a balance between child size tools and adult tools in the kitchen. For instance, in this recipe I have used an adult colander because I feel the child can achieve the purpose of the task with this colander. These are also ways to communicate to the child that our worlds can meet and merge in the kitchen! As always, you are the best judge of what will work in your home for your child!

Illustrated Guide

I like to begin with an invitation, “Come, let us wash some rice for dinner.” Introduce everything at the table else tell the child what is required and gather them together.

Show the child to feel the texture of dry rice and take in the unique aroma.

Show the child to transfer the rice into the colander.

Fetch water in a pitcher and show the child to pour into the colander.

Mix and draw attention to the change in colour of the water.

Let the child mix and wash the rice however they can. Show the child to pour the starchy water into the medium bowl.

It is helpful to draw attention to the water flowing through the holes.

Let the child repeat by fetching more water and washing. I generally use the starchy water to feed the plants or pour in a bowl for birds and squirrels. Involve the child in putting the items back in their place or for wash.

Short Guide

I like to begin with an invitation, “Come, let us wash some rice for dinner.”
Introduce everything at the table else tell the child what is required and gather them together.
Show the child to feel the texture of dry rice and take in the unique aroma.
Show the child to transfer the rice into the colander.
Fetch water in a pitcher and show the child to pour into the colander.
Mix and draw attention to the change in colour of the water.
Let the child mix and wash the rice however they can.
Show the child to pour the starchy water into the medium bowl.
It is helpful to draw attention to the water flowing through the holes.
Let the child repeat by fetching more water and washing.
I generally use the starchy water to feed the plants or pour in a bowl for birds and squirrels.
Involve the child in putting the items back in their place or for wash.